My 1 Year Old

Monday, August 26, 2013

Yep, I have a one year old. 

I can't even believe it. 

I no longer have to refer to Vinny's age in months, but rather in years.

I've decided to do yearly birthday letters to Vinny.  I'm going to hand write them, seal them in an envelope, tied with a ribbon and keep them in a fireproof safe until his 18th birthday.  Maybe 21st.  Maybe when he gets married.  I don't know the exact time I'll actually give them to him.  But when I do, he'll have at least 18 years worth of handwritten letters from me.

Here is an insert to his first birthday letter:

 
"Over the last year you taught me a new kind of love. Deep, steadfast, overwhelming love. I wake up each day, look at you, and still can’t believe that you are mine, ours, to keep.  Forever.  You, Vinny, make me the happiest.  I am so blessed to be your mommy."



{All of Vinny's mothly photos can be found HERE}

I Love You

Monday, August 19, 2013

It's three tiny words.  But it's something that is not only so important to hear, but to feel. 

I grew up in a family where these words were hardly ever said.  There were no I love yous, no snuggles, no tickle fights, no kisses and no hugs.  I knew my parents loved me, they just never showed it physically.  Now some would say this is weird.  Heck, I think it's weird!  But while growing up, I never knew any different.  I thought this was the way every childhood was. 

Then I started dating Chris.  Obviously, with the last name Naselli, he comes from an Italian family.  And there's no other type of family that's more in-your-face touchy feely and loving than an Italian family.  There were an abundance of hugs, kisses and I love yous.  My personal bubble was invaded.  And I liked it.

These three tiny words pass my lips so many times a day.  I shower Vinny in kisses, hugs and I love yous daily.  I don't want him to grow up in a house where those words are never said.  I don't want him to feel that he can't cuddle, hug or tell me his feelings. Those three words will be said and he will know and feel how much we love him. 
 

Park 8.9.13-014

Park 8.9.13 10

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Park 8.9.13-006
 
Park 8.9.13 4

Park 8.9.13 19

11 Months

Friday, August 9, 2013

Have I really not blogged since Vinny's 10 month photo?  Yep.  It's true.  Yikes.  Thank you instagram for killing my blog.

So this is what I'm working with at 11 months. 

 
 
Gah. I melt. 
 
I do have to say I'm so proud of myself to snap this photo without any help from the hubs this month.  These monthly photos have been a 2 person job lately due to Vinny not sitting still at all.  I basically had to stand on my head while making monkey sounds to get this photos.  So worth it.  1 more left and then I'm done with my monthly photos.  It's going to be so bittersweet. 

(view all of Vinny's monthly photos HERE)
 
Vinny is cruising around like crazy.  He will walk holding just one hand, but has yet to let go and give walking a whirl for himself.  I feel like it's bound to happen here shortly.  He loves his food and eats anything we put in front of him. He's obsessed with books, lights, balls and fans and proceeds to point them out to us wherever we are.  The most amazing thing is that he knows what I'm saying.  I can tell him to go put his shoes on and he goes in our mud room and sits down waiting for me to help with his shoes.  I don't know why this is so fascinating to me.  Maybe because in my mind he's still a 3 month old who doesn't know what I'm saying.  It's so amazing how much he changes and grows daily.  I wish I could pause time. 
 
I'm in full birthday party planning mode.  Let's first off say that I'm not a party planner.  I don't do this regularly and probably have thrown 3 parties my entire life.  None quite as significant as a first birthday party.  So the end result of this party should be interesting.
 
I want to make sure Vinny's party is perfectly him.  So I'm hosting a "You are my Sunshine" birthday party.  Why a You are my Sunshine party you ask?  Two reasons.  The first thing I purchased for Vinny's nursery (back when I had no idea if Vinny was a Vinny or not) was this: 



And also because it's our song.  I have sung You are My Sunshine to him every night since the day he was placed in my arms.  So, it's only appropriate to have a You are My Sunshine party.  My house is going to look like a sun threw up all over it.  So, so much yellow and orange.  I'm so thankful for my my mother in law coming up from Chicago next week to stay with us for 2 weeks prior to his bday party.  She's going to be such a huge help! 

And now I'm off to work scour pinterest for the millionth time gathering more decorating and party planning ideas.

10 Months

Monday, July 15, 2013

We might be just shy of his 11 month mark, but hey, he's still considered 10 months.  I can't even believe we got this monthly photo.  Between traveling, major meltdowns when the camera comes out and Vinny just not EVER sitting still, this was somewhat of a miracle.  And not to mention he's holding the dang chalkboard!  I melt. 

 

He keeps looking less and less like a baby!  I can't even take it. 

So at 10 months he's all over the place.  Sitting still is not something he does anymore.  He's either up walking around furniture or chasing Tiko with his push toys.  He's obsessed with lights and always points them out to me wherever we are.  And balls.  Whatever you do, do not take away his ball.  You'd think someone was hurting him if you did - ahhh the screams! 

He is all about his sippy cup now.  He basically only gets a bottle at night anymore.  Which is so nice.  I can't tell you how much I hate cleaning bottles.  He says "bbbahh" for ball, can show you where his hair is, mastered clapping, has the scrunch face of the cutest kid ever and double fists anything he eats.  I also might need to enter him in the fastest eating hot dog contest.  Kid loves his dogs. 
 
{Click here to see all of Vinny's monthly photos}

Reality Check

Thursday, July 11, 2013

I'm home from a lovely 2 weeks spent with family in hot, humid Florida (my hair hates Florida fyi).  It was so nice to get away.  Even nicer to not have to go to a day job that I hate everyday.  And the best was I got to be with Vinny 24/7.  However, we missed Chris and Tiko like crazy.  Chris was in Canada on his annual fishing trip so he couldn't make the trip with us.  But with an exuberant amount of photos and videos I sent him daily, he practically felt like he was with us. 

It's back to reality now.  Altho I do love me some vacation, I love coming home even more.  There's not like your family, your own bed and a routine in my book. 

I have well over 1,500 photos uploaded from our trip.  Way too many favorite memories and images captured to count.  I've never loved being behind the camera as much as I did over the last 2 weeks.  I've decided I want to be a professional vacation photographer when I grow up.  Hired to come on your vacation with you and document it.  {dreaming}

Here's a peek at some vacation fun.  If you follow me on instagram {court5}, then you've already seen most of these.







 

 



 

Very 1st Father's Day

Monday, June 17, 2013

We tried having a baby for a year.  I got really good at nailing down the exact time of our 'go time'.  I didn't go to the extreme of testing my temperature, but I did use ovulation tests.  I also got good at testing early to only see a negative test result.  So, naturally, I stopped testing.  But I never stopped thinking about getting pregnant or having a baby. 

I missed my period.  It never came and frankly, I didn't even think twice about it being a result of pregnancy.  I figured it was late and just messing with me.  But for peace of mind, I tested.  Positive.  Big fat positive.  I was pregnant.  After a year of trying and negative tests, it has finally happened.  I was giddy and couldn't wait to tell Chris.

At our first doctor's appointment things weren't matching up.  From the date of my last menstrual period to how far along I was - nothing made sense.  Because of that I was scheduled to come back next week to take another look.  BUT there was definitely a heartbeat and I was most definitely pregnant. 

Waiting another week seemed like a lifetime.  For some reason I was anxious and didn't feel right about things.  In my heart, I knew something was amiss. 

The second doctor appointment came.  I was 7.5 weeks along.  Our little bean still had a heartbeat however the technician was picking up something else on ultrasound.  She called in a second technician to take a look.  My heart was ready to jump out of my chest.  All I kept thinking was calling for a second pair of eyes must be because something was not right.  Between the glances the technicians gave each other and the thick silence that filled the air, my heart sank.

The technicians told us they were definitely picking up a heartbeat (yay!), but they were also picking up what they called a bleed.  Apparently this is common.  Apparently I shouldn't worry.  They quickly made me an appointment to be seen by a specialist for the following week.  Chris and I left the appointment in silence.

Two days later, I miscarried.  I never made it to the specialist.  There was no need to anymore. 

My emotions went from complete joy and happiness to saddness and depression in a snap. 

3 days later I had a D&C.  We were instructed to wait a full cycle before trying again.  I kept thinking that trying was the last thing I wanted to do.  But, at the same time, I just wanted to hurry up and get pregnant again.  Put all of this behind us and move forward with a healthy pregnancy. 

So we waited.  I was depressed, not very talkative, and ate through my emotions.  We tried again. 

And then I prayed.
And prayed. 
And prayed.

I tested a day before my period was to come only because I felt 'off'.  I secretly knew I'd receive a negative result.  I didn't even know why I was bothering testing.  There's no possible way I could be pregnant again so quickly.  I probably was just 'off' due to the drinks I overindulged in the night before. 

Two lines appeared.  Weird.  This test must be defective was the first thing that popped in my mind. I couldn't have been pregnant again so quickly.  I got out a new test and tested.  I didn't think anything of it so I didn't sit there and wait for a line (or two) to appear.  I switched out some laundry, came back to the bathroom counter and looked down.  Two lines, again.  I started getting sweaty.  For shits and giggles I tested one last time.  And, just like the last two tests, two lines.  Positive.  It's positive!

I quickly told Chris, as he was downstairs.  Telling him a 2nd time I was pregnant felt odd.  I didn't do anything special this time.  I just sat down on the couch next to him and broke the news to him, pregnancy tests in hand. 

We couldn't believe how fast we were pregnant again.  We were so happy.  But it was a happy where you could both feel a sense of reservation.  I didn't want to get too happy.  I didn't want to fully indulge in the idea of being pregnant again.  I was terrified of miscarrying again. 

I went in for my first prenatal appointment and confirmed the pregnancy.  The nurses and techs all gave their congratulations.  I wanted to just give them the biggest smile and tell them thank you.  But I couldn't.  I kept thinking this all might not last.  This all could be ripped away from me again so I shouldn't get too excited just yet. 

The weeks following I had to go in a few extra times for ultrasound because I was now considered 'high risk' from having a miscarriage.  All of my ultrasounds and appointments were measuring up right on track.  Finally, at week 12 I finally was able to get excited.  The chances of miscarrying now were slim.  I have a baby.  I will be a mom.  I'm going to have a baby.  And then we shared the news with everyone and from that point forward my mind focused on nothing but the baby in my belly.

Fast forward to the now.  My almost 9.5 month old son is here, healthy and I couldn't imagine a day without him.  

There was a point where I didn't know if my body could physically make Chris a dad.  But after a long wait, it finally happened.  Being able to give Chris a son is truly my biggest accomplishment in life.  When I married him I knew he would be a great father.  But I couldn't possibly know how great that father could truly be. 

Yesterday we went to church and then we treated Chris to a scrumptious brunch.  The weather was perfect and we were able to sit outdoors to eat.  There's just something about eating outdoors.  It's always so relaxing and special.  Perhaps it's because we only get to do it about 3 months out of the year here in Minnesota. 

Chris worked in the yard the rest of the day to finish our landscaping.  And Vinny helped.  It was Chris' idea of the perfect day.  He was outside doing what he loves with his boy.  After I put Vinny to bed last night Chris thanked me for helping make his first Father's Day absolutely perfect.  Nothing is sweeter than that.











Cue the Tears

Friday, June 14, 2013

I dropped Vinny off at daycare school yesterday like any other morning.  I chatted with his teacher for a minute, kissed him on the forehead, told him I loved him and then proceeded to walk towards the door.  Half way to the door I was forced to stop in my tracks.  A blood curdling scream and huge crocodile tears were streaming down Vinny's face.  His arms were up, reaching for me.  And that's when my heart broke into a million little pieces. 

Separation anxiety has kicked in.  Cue the tears. 

I scooped him up, consoled him for a few minutes and then put him back down in front of some toys.  His teacher distracted him while I made the great escape out the door.  I felt horrible that I had to literally sneak out of the room.  I got into my car and drove to work with pools of tears welled up in my eyes. 

Today's drop off was the same scenario as yesterday's.  Tears, tears, tears. 

It's so hard.  My heart breaks and then I start feeling like such a horrible parent.  These are the days I long to be able to be a stay at home mama.  Someday, someday.  I hope. 

So today I did what any new mom would do.  I googled separation anxiety for a 9 month old.  And that's when I instantly felt like a failure.  So many sites say sneaking out the door is a horrible approach. 

So my question is, what do you do when this happens.  What have you found effective? 

And since I'm talking about tears I thought it would be only fitting to share a few outtakes from our recent family session...


Put it in a Frame

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Remember when I was outfit planning for our family photos?  Well, I changed it up a tad and am sooooo happy with the results.  I just received my photos from our family session and they seriously brought me to tears.  I couldn't love them more.  My lovely and ohhh so talented friend, Natalie, is truly the best.  I owe her a hundred free sessions of her family to repay her for caputuring our family so perfectly. 

I'm absolutely obsessed with these images and have already ordered oversize prints to plaster all over our home.  Ekkk! 



















 

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